Are you my Mommy?

So pretty much everyone knows the story of how Aurora, Nick and Bella came to us. So I won't go into that again, right now. But everyday brings new questions, especially from Aurora. Yesterday she asked me if she came from my tummy. I found it odd since she is 5 years old and remembers her mom and dad clearly. So I answered with "No sweetie you didn't come from my tummy, you came from my heart, which makes our relationship extra special". So she smiled at me and said "ok". And then the kicker "well if I didn't come from your tummy, are you still my mommy?" So I had to think a minute (and remembered something a friend once told me while going through an adoption), that was a great question and one I wasn't prepared for at the moment. So I asked her a basic question, "What does a mommy do?" And she responded with " A mommy cooks, and cleans, reads to you and loves you". I asked her "Do I do those things for you?" And I loved her response, "Oh yes, you do so you must be my mommy".

Yep Rory is only 5 but man how her brain works. Its a struggle for her because I think she feels that if she loves me as a mommy she would be betraying her own parents. She remembers them, she loves them and she misses them. I constantly have to reassure her that her parents love her but that they just can't take care of her like a mommy and daddy should right now. She always comes back and says, "yes cause they are sick". One day her parents are going to have to answer her questions and I just hope they are seriously sitting in prison thinking about what they will tell their children one day.

For now I will do my best to answer Rory's questions. I will love her, take care of her, listen to her and hug and kiss her like she deserves. I will pray everyday that God will provide me with the right words to put her sweet little mind at ease. I love you to the moon and back Aurora!

Dealing with an Autistic child

Every mother dreams while pregnant for their unborn child. The baby will be healthy, happy and succesful etc. No mother ever wants to hear that there is something wrong with their baby. I didn't know until my son was a year old that something was off. Of course my son was the most intelligent, the most handsome, the most.....well everything. Then comes the time where they grow up and start exploring things. You start taking them to the park, and playing outside in the backyard and all things little ones like to do. My first clue that something was wrong was that my son was extremely impulsive. Yes, I know your thinking "oh well he is a boy, he is going to do that", and yes he did to a certain extent. But, then it started getting more and more extreme. One day he unbuckled himself out of his car seat and jumped out of a truck and landed face first on the asphault, in the time it took for his Dad to go around the other side of the car to buckle his sister in to her carseat. He became a Houdini. He started taking off out of the front door, he would rip toys apart because they would be cooler to be something else. And then came school.

He was extremely overwhelmed and would kick and scream, throw himself under tables, his desk or whatever was available to him. He is 10 years old now and has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning Autism. Simple right? Wrong, the Asperger's is just the umbrella for many other things, ADD, ADHD, ODD and OCD. So now its not one thing he has to deal with it is a lot more.

There are times I get so frustrated with him because I don't know how to get through to him. He has his good days and his bad. Today has been one of the bad days. Maybe it's because he had two weeks vacation from school, I don't know. We never know what will be the cause of the bad day's.  So now here I sit just trying to calm down enough to be able to go and talk him through this yet again.

I hope and pray that one day he will be able to handle the backwards movie that whirls around in his head constantly. I love you my boy, nothing will ever change that!

Good Morning,

So this is my family. This is my breath and my sanity (sometimes). These beautiful children are what keep me going on a daily basis. Yes, there are days when I want to run out the door screaming but that feeling goes away pretty quickly, after all, look at those smiles. So this is my first post I will post more as random things come up but what a great way to chronicle our day to day lives.