Bath day at the Todd house

Why is it no matter what I say or do, the splashing must occur for every bath? I typically put my 3 younger kiddo's in the bath together because it saves time. Well, they think its Disneyland at that time and all you can hear is splash, splash, splash, giggle, giggle, giggle. Ok, So I have to admit the giggles are pretty cute. Although, the Mommy that walks out of the bathroom looks like a drowned rat.

But, I'm thankful! How blessed am I to hear those giggles. My kids are growing up so fast and one day I won't have the opportunity to hear those giggles all the time. One day they will go off on their journey's whether it be college, military or whatever and I will miss these special times that we have.

We went to the park today, thankfully its a block away from us so the kids all rode their bikes while Isabella ran. Of course, with camera in hand I followed. We had a great time and it was great to see my kids so happy riding their bikes in circles a million times. I don't even think that they played at the playground because they were having so much fun with their bikes. Another memory I will treasure.

All in all it has been a great day!

Time to unwind

Today was all around a pretty decent day. I got up this morning and did my usual "Force Dylan to get ready for school" routine. And then I got to hang out with my other 3 for the rest of the day. I was able to get some housework done, that in itself is a challenge. I ran by our other house to make sure everything is ok and locked up since we are in the "hurry up and wait for a renter" mode. Our life can be hectic but you know I wouldn't change it for the world. I love watching my kids live. I love being able to talk about their days and who said what and why at school. I LOVE that Dylan has a good friend he can play with now and invites him over all the time now. Dylan is looking forward to his very first sleepover this weekend. I'm excited for him because he has never had a friend that he could relate to because of his asperger's. So of course Mommy has to go out and buy all the necessary junk food and such for this sleepover.

So it's been a good day, but a long one. That is why I included my slippers and a cup of coffee. I really am enjoying some wind down time. Even on good days I just need some time to relax. So cheers to you and I hope you get some down time to relax too.

serenity and peace

We are always looking for it aren't we? In the craziness of my life I rarely ever get to stop and enjoy the world around me. I have decided to change that. So from now on where ever I go my camera goes with me. I'm going to start appreciating the things I always took for granted. I'm going to capture those moments so that when I get to a point where things feel hopeless I can look back and reflect on the beauty of life.

Tonight as I was taking a moment to clear my head from the screaming and fighting of children this is what I saw. I ran back into the house to grab my camera. How beautiful is this picture? It reminded me to be grateful of those things I take for granted. My children, family, my home and many other things. I realize that just like this moon will be gone tomorrow, the possibility is there for everything else to be gone as well.

Thank you God for opening my eyes at a time when I so desperately needed it.

Time with my girl

This is my baby girl, although not such a baby any more. Kirstyn is the sweetest little girl you could ever meet (most of the time), of course I'm biased. Kirstyn just turned 9 years old in December and it's hard for me to believe that she has grown up so fast. With six kids in the house its hard for us to get some one on one time. Tonight I got that one on one time with her but unfortunately its because she was in tears. Litterally sobbing. So we went up to her room and cuddled on her bed and talked. She got upset because she didn't get the gum she wanted when she went to the store with her Dad, but in all fairness he gave her a choice of a few different kinds but she didn't like the flavors.
Kirstyn joined the drama club at school and today she was upset that she didn't get the part she wanted. My girl is an emotional wreck these days and unfortunately I know what that means. Hormones! Every girls worst nightmare. I just pray that God will give me the words and the patience to help her get through this time.
I love you sweet girl, and I will always be here for you!!

The things I can't say yet.

There is so much going on in my life, yet I can't talk about it. I can't deal with it and I definitely can't heal yet. I wish that things were simple, yet they're not. Things I thought were forever aren't. Now I find myself making plans and I feel like I'm swimming upstream. I don't know if I'm making the right decisions, and I can't ask opinions because I can't talk to anyone yet. It's really not fair that I have been put in to this position.

They say life isn't fair, heck, I say that to my kids all the time but what gives people the right to say that. I look around at different people and I wonder if they realize how good they have it. I see the choices and decisions they make and I think to myself  "If only I had those options, I would....". It's not my life though, so who am I to say. So for now I will keep holding on to faith and my kiddo's and hope that the day comes soon where I can let all this out.

I will end with this "Never take anything for granted, ANYTHING!".

The things I swore I would never say to my kids

You always hear other parents say random things to their kids and in the back of your head you think "Oh I would never say that to my kids". Yes, Well I was completely wrong so here is my list.

10. You are 10 years old quit throwing yourself on the ground and throwing a tantrum.
9. Don't eat out of the trash can, ( seriously)
8. Quit drinking my coffee, it will stunt your growth! ( I'm 5'8 and it didn't stunt mine)
7. Kirstyn quit kissing your posters of Justin Bieber
6. You will bust your head open if you keep doing that.
5. Don't sit on your brother's head you will suffocate him.
4. If you don't take your medicine I will take you to the hospital to get a shot (like that's going to happen)
3. You are grounded for life.
2. Mommy, needs a time out. (how do you put yourself in timeout?)

and the kicker my absolute favorite:
1. Shut your mouth and eat!!! ( how in the heck is that possible?????)

So there you have it, my top 10 things.

Are you my Mommy?

So pretty much everyone knows the story of how Aurora, Nick and Bella came to us. So I won't go into that again, right now. But everyday brings new questions, especially from Aurora. Yesterday she asked me if she came from my tummy. I found it odd since she is 5 years old and remembers her mom and dad clearly. So I answered with "No sweetie you didn't come from my tummy, you came from my heart, which makes our relationship extra special". So she smiled at me and said "ok". And then the kicker "well if I didn't come from your tummy, are you still my mommy?" So I had to think a minute (and remembered something a friend once told me while going through an adoption), that was a great question and one I wasn't prepared for at the moment. So I asked her a basic question, "What does a mommy do?" And she responded with " A mommy cooks, and cleans, reads to you and loves you". I asked her "Do I do those things for you?" And I loved her response, "Oh yes, you do so you must be my mommy".

Yep Rory is only 5 but man how her brain works. Its a struggle for her because I think she feels that if she loves me as a mommy she would be betraying her own parents. She remembers them, she loves them and she misses them. I constantly have to reassure her that her parents love her but that they just can't take care of her like a mommy and daddy should right now. She always comes back and says, "yes cause they are sick". One day her parents are going to have to answer her questions and I just hope they are seriously sitting in prison thinking about what they will tell their children one day.

For now I will do my best to answer Rory's questions. I will love her, take care of her, listen to her and hug and kiss her like she deserves. I will pray everyday that God will provide me with the right words to put her sweet little mind at ease. I love you to the moon and back Aurora!

Dealing with an Autistic child

Every mother dreams while pregnant for their unborn child. The baby will be healthy, happy and succesful etc. No mother ever wants to hear that there is something wrong with their baby. I didn't know until my son was a year old that something was off. Of course my son was the most intelligent, the most handsome, the most.....well everything. Then comes the time where they grow up and start exploring things. You start taking them to the park, and playing outside in the backyard and all things little ones like to do. My first clue that something was wrong was that my son was extremely impulsive. Yes, I know your thinking "oh well he is a boy, he is going to do that", and yes he did to a certain extent. But, then it started getting more and more extreme. One day he unbuckled himself out of his car seat and jumped out of a truck and landed face first on the asphault, in the time it took for his Dad to go around the other side of the car to buckle his sister in to her carseat. He became a Houdini. He started taking off out of the front door, he would rip toys apart because they would be cooler to be something else. And then came school.

He was extremely overwhelmed and would kick and scream, throw himself under tables, his desk or whatever was available to him. He is 10 years old now and has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning Autism. Simple right? Wrong, the Asperger's is just the umbrella for many other things, ADD, ADHD, ODD and OCD. So now its not one thing he has to deal with it is a lot more.

There are times I get so frustrated with him because I don't know how to get through to him. He has his good days and his bad. Today has been one of the bad days. Maybe it's because he had two weeks vacation from school, I don't know. We never know what will be the cause of the bad day's.  So now here I sit just trying to calm down enough to be able to go and talk him through this yet again.

I hope and pray that one day he will be able to handle the backwards movie that whirls around in his head constantly. I love you my boy, nothing will ever change that!

Good Morning,

So this is my family. This is my breath and my sanity (sometimes). These beautiful children are what keep me going on a daily basis. Yes, there are days when I want to run out the door screaming but that feeling goes away pretty quickly, after all, look at those smiles. So this is my first post I will post more as random things come up but what a great way to chronicle our day to day lives.