Sunday, January 8, 2012

The things I can't say yet.

There is so much going on in my life, yet I can't talk about it. I can't deal with it and I definitely can't heal yet. I wish that things were simple, yet they're not. Things I thought were forever aren't. Now I find myself making plans and I feel like I'm swimming upstream. I don't know if I'm making the right decisions, and I can't ask opinions because I can't talk to anyone yet. It's really not fair that I have been put in to this position.

They say life isn't fair, heck, I say that to my kids all the time but what gives people the right to say that. I look around at different people and I wonder if they realize how good they have it. I see the choices and decisions they make and I think to myself  "If only I had those options, I would....". It's not my life though, so who am I to say. So for now I will keep holding on to faith and my kiddo's and hope that the day comes soon where I can let all this out.

I will end with this "Never take anything for granted, ANYTHING!".


  1. Prayers going out to you and your family. :) Hopefully this will all pass quickly.

  2. ok so you know me no holding back, no pulling punches, but I say I don't know who all the rules about not talking about your feelings are coming from, but they are wrong! Maybe not on the internet, or FB but you getting to talk about what hurts, whats sad, bad, and unfair, as well as whats great and maybe even something that you secretly look fwd to on some levels, is normal healthy. Steph, your a mommy first and foremost. that means that even when it feels unnatural, you have to put yourself first sometimes because if not you loose yourself. and then who have they( the kids) got? just like we have to avoid colds, so we can minister to our kids, we have to tend to what hurts inside too. so please even if its anonymous, or a dr. or a friend or a priest get it out so you can keep sane!!!love you girl, Tisa

  3. You can always talk to me NO JUDGEMENT!